


Evil Old St. Nicholas

by TimidMarshmallow



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack Fic, Definitely AU, I need the dlc already, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 09:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10160573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimidMarshmallow/pseuds/TimidMarshmallow
Summary: Prompto wakes up after the train.Ardyn's creepy(big surprise there).Zegnautus Keep is ... different.-Alternate universe because I need to know more about Prompto's backstory, so I wrote this silly thing.





	

Prompto woke up slowly, his senses lazily beginning to work together where he was. Suddenly he jolted. He didn't get far, the chair he was tied to made sure of that. 

Where was he? He looked around with rising panic. It looked like he was in a cell. Made of candy??? He saw peppermint sticks instead of iron bars, and a cookie floor underneath him. The walls looked like taffy. A tiny window of hard candy let a sliver of colored light in. 

He tried to calm his breathing. Okay, the Crownsguard training had offered a procedure on kidnappings. Check for injury. Observe surroundings. Did that already. Slowly work out of bonds. He was sure there was more, but the panic and his headache kept him from remembering. 

The only other pain he felt was from a cut on his head and lots of bruises all over his body. Nothing was broken or sprained, though. Why was he injured... Right, the train. Noctis had tried to catch him after something had rammed into his body. Okay, next step. 

He tugged at the ropes around his wrists. All that did was scrape his skin, they were tied too tight. 

Okay. Now what?

He struggled to remember the next step of the training when he heard footsteps and whistling. 

Time to face whichever sick psychopath put him in this position. 

Ardyn strolled into view and unlocked the peppermint bars. He waltzed up to Prompto, stopping in front of the rapidly paling boy. 

"Why?" The blond figured that was the first thing to ask. 

"Because of several reasons. One, this will torture that pathetic excuse pretending to be king. Two, I'm kind of using you as bait. Sorry not sorry. Three, I thought it was time you came home. It's been a long time."

Home? Prompto's home was back in Insomnia, probably rubble by now. No, Prompto's home was Noctis, and wherever he led to. Prompto's home was Ignis' cooking, and Gladio's snoring in the tent, and driving in the Regalia with the music blasting and the roof down. 

Wherever this maniac had him now was NOT home. 

Ardyn saw the look of defiance growing in his eyes. He cut it off by reaching forward and clamping a hand over Prompto's mouth, forcing him to look up slightly. 

He tried to jerk back, but the chair, ropes, and grip on his face kept him stationary. 

"Would you like a tour to reacquaint yourself? Surely you're tired of just sitting here." 

Prompto was shaking. Fear and anger coursed through him. This guy was unhinged, dangerous, and had him completely at his mercy. It would be best to play along. The blond figured he probably wouldn't be killed. Live bait is the best. Noctis' fishing had taught him that. 

He nodded as much as he could. 

"Splendid. Not like you had a choice, but your willingness does make things easier for you."

They must have different definitions of willingness. Whatever. 

Ardyn let go of his face and untied the ropes securing him to the chair. His wrists remained bound together though. 

Prompto stood up and walked over to the candy cell's exit. His captor led him down a hall, up some stairs, through several turns, down a different set of stairs... It took all his focus not to fall over, so memorizing the layout of the building was forgotten. He did notice that everything was made of candy. 

Suddenly they stopped in front of a chocolate door. 

"This is where you would've worked, had I not had other plans. Technology and accessories, a bit more complex than the other toys produced here." 

Toys? Working? What the hell was he talking about? 

Prompto slowly inched back as Ardyn unlocked the door. The gunner turned and bolted. There had to be an exit... or a stairway, or something he could use to escape. 

He had only traveled a few feet before he was slammed into a wall. 

"Cute. But annoying. Let's continue the tour." Ardyn dragged him back to the door with a firm hold on his arm. 

When Prompto saw inside the room he gasped. Rows and rows of magitek soldiers were working at tables, assembling various technological marvels. Phones, video game consoles, and headphones were being produced with alarming speed. 

"Efficient, isn't it? I'll bet you and your friends even have one of our models, hmm?" He held up a phone that did look like Prompto's. "Your father, my head assistant, managed this section. In fact, that's why I chose you to be placed in Insomnia. You were wonderful at gathering intel. You consumed a lot of these goods because you had no friends, and that helped focus our market. Our profits tripled after we placed you, so I left you there. I didn't expect you to start hanging around that spoiled brat, though that was a bonus that I wish I had orchestrated sooner."

 

Prompto's head was spinning. Ardyn had placed him in Insomnia to gather marketing information for this... toy factory? Why? How did this even relate to the war and the crystal? 

"What?"

"Eloquent. Let me spell it out then. My MT's make toys that I sell to the world. This funds my army that I'm using to destroy the world. Once I kill off your stupid friend then I can rule the world completely. Understand?"

Prompto frowned. What was this guy's problem with Noctis? 

"Okay... so why did you stab Luna? What did she do?"

"She and her pathetic brother were developing a better smartphone. Would've destroyed my sales. Not to mention the whole 'Oracle awakening the Astrals to help the king' business."

Prompto was suddenly being dragged out of the room and down the hall again. "Why is everything made of candy? That still doesn't make sense."

"Because the moogles built this place. I just killed them off and stole the factory."

So moogles used to make toys? The legend said elves. Huh. 

Ardyn pushed Prompto into another room a floor up from the technology production center. There were more peppermint bars surrounding a desk that had chains attached to it. Various tools lay on top and Prompto had a pretty good guess about what was coming. He began struggling against the hands clenched around his biceps. The photographer dug his heels into the cookie flooring. 

"Let me go, you creep!"

Ardyn simply picked him up and slung the blond over his shoulder. He forcefully plopped Prompto onto the chair behind the desk and stopped the squirming gunner from getting up with one hand on his throat. The other hand was securing the chair's straps across his chest and stomach. Ardyn attached the desk's chains to Prompto's ankles and wrists, finally removing the ropes that kept his hands together. 

"You'll be making something simple to start, just a tonberry doll. If you want, you can give it to your dear Noctis before I kill him." 

"You're deranged!" Prompto began pulling at the restraints. 

"Thank you. Now, I suggest you start working. You'll be here for some time, as your friends are still not here yet." He sauntered out, locking the peppermint bars and exiting the room. Ten seconds later he popped his head back in. "I stand corrected, they are outside. I'll be right back."

Prompto immediately started trying to open the straps securing him to the chair. Once those were loose he began searching through the tools on the table. There had to be something he could use to open the lock on the chains. A thin needle, some thread, fabric squares, tiny sewing scissors, and some cotton stared up at him. The scissors did not fit in the keyhole, and the needle was too short and weak to turn any mechanisms inside the lock.

Damn. He would have to wait. There was no way he was going to actually assemble the doll as suggested. Noctis didn't even like tonberries anyway. 

Struggling against the chains only gave him bruises, so he sat down and closed his eyes. A good ten minutes passed before he fell asleep. 

-o-

Light slapping on his face woke him up. "Sleeping on the job? I ought to dock your pay."

Prompto groaned. This jerk was back? Where were his friends, if they had indeed entered the factory? 

"Where's Noctis?"

"Oh, keep your pants on. He's somewhere in the lower levels. He already passed the children's toy section, so he should be here in two hours." 

Two more hours with this guy?? Prompto felt like crying. He didn't, of course. The humiliation was not worth it. 

Ardyn left to do who knows what while Prompto worried. He sat and stood up and paced as much as the chains would allow. 

It turned out he was lying. Noctis burst through the door only half an hour later instead of the promised two hours. 

"Prompto!" 

"Noct!"

The king ran over and smashed his father's sword through the peppermint bars. The candy crumbled and Noctis slashed the chains, separating them from the desk. The cuffs still circled Prompto's wrists and Noctis cringed. "We'll find the key. Come on, Ignis and Gladio are holding off the MT's down the hall."

"I don't have any of my guns, and I can't summon anything."

"There was a generator a couple floors down. Ignis thinks that's blocking the armiger. We didn't smash it because you were top priority. Sorry we took so long."

"Thanks. Uh, I still don't have a weapon though." 

Noctis picked up a large rod of smashed peppermint. He handed it to the gunner. "Here. It'll have to do."

"Right. Let's go!" Prompto ended up not even needing the makeshift weapon. Gladio and Ignis were running down the hall as they exited the room. 

"Prompto! Noctis!"

They all slammed together, holding tight. 

Gladio was the first to move out of the hug. "Let's destroy that machine and then kick Ardyn's teeth in."

Noctis' sword made quick work of the generator. Weapons returned to the party, they charged forward.


End file.
